The Life before I Lived (Beca's story)
by Lady Neelahn
Summary: Everyone has a past. Everyone has a story that makes them who they are. Beca isn't any different. Follow 18 year old Beca into her dark and damaged past and see if she can finally find herself or will her past take hold of her forever?
1. Chapter 1

She laid in her bed in the damp hostel she lived in, thinking about her life. In a span of a few months her life had gone totally out of control. She was 18, with no money, friends or family to support her. She had messed up big time. If she could turn back the hands of time she would do it in an instant. But she couldn't, now she had to live with her mistakes haunting her every thought.

She never thought it'd come to this. Well, who would. The world saw her as a happy outgoing girl with a lot going for her. But sadly she didn't see it that way. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a worthless girl with too many scars both physical and mental. She saw the mark of the man who defiled her, she saw the mistakes she made to rid herself of that moment. She saw the drugs and the drink and the self harm. She didn't see what she could be. Just the past 5 years and the choices she made that led her here.

It disgusted her. She wanted to change but she didn't know how. She had tried so many times but each attempt led her back to square one. No matter how she changed, she always had the one reminder that as hard as she tried she couldn't forget, it never left her, it was etched on her skin forever. He did it to her. He broke her. But she didn't hate him. She hated herself. She felt it was her fault. After all, that's what he told her.

*flashback*

It was any other Thursday night. Beca had been at school late doing netball. She was the best defender in her year. After all, not many 13 year olds get a chance to defend the county in a nationwide tournament. Only the best. She was happy.

'Hi mum, it's me, I'm going to be a little earlier than usual, the changingrooms are flooded and they're letting us go home in our kit... Yes, I understand... No, I won't... Yes... Yessss... Okay. Byee... Bye... I love you too... Yes, bye.'

Ugh mum's. She thought. She loved her mum but boy did she nag.

Ugh mum's. She thought. She loved her mum but boy did she nag. With the call over Beca put her coat on and headed home. Beca being the typical 13 year old had her nose buried in her phone as she walked. She loved walking. The fresh air, the sounds. But. She loved her phone more. Twitter and facebook. Snapchat was her favorite.

"Oooo, I bet Martin will love this selfie even better with the dog ears" she said to herself in hushed tones.

"Excuse me, miss, you wouldn't happen to have the time would you?"

Beca jumped. She didn't hear the man behind her.

"Oh, it's 6:36pm"

"Fuck, I'm going to be late. Shit, sorry. You wouldn't happen to know the way to Warren Avenue?"

"Which house? I live on that street." She looked up from her phone to look at the man. He reminded her of her uncle. She smiled at him.

"Number 26"

"Thats 12 doors down from my house. I'll show you the way"

He smiled at her. But something about it was off. She couldn't put her finger on it, so she shrugged it off.

They walked together for 15 minutes. Only small talking on the way. They came up to the alley that lead to Warrens Avenue.

"left at the top of the alley and you'll get there." Beca stated.

" This was very kind of you, Beca, right?"  
She nodded.  
"Let me thank you properly, what do you like?"

Before she could open her mouth he grabbed her. Pinning her to the alley wall. She tried screaming but he slapped his hand over her mouth. Her legs flailing around trying to get loose. The man taking advantage of her small size and pushing her down the wall with a hand on her throat. He unzipped his pants and grabbed her hair. Everytime Beca tried to get away he would kick wherever was visible.

"Why are you trying to leave Beca , I'm thanking you, by letting you taste what a real man can make a women feel, you brought this on yourself. Pretty girl like you walking in the dark in tight clothes. What sort of man would I be if I didn't give you a sample of being a real women?" He whispered in her ear.

He grabbed tighter on her hair pulling it to his crotch. He pulled down his pants.

"Open your Fucking mouth before I break it open, you stupid bitch."

The Man stood there smirking as she did as he asked. He pulled her mouth over his dirty thing. She bit down. Causing him to yelp and let go of her hair. She tried squirming away but he recovered to quick. He pulled out a knife.

"Listen here you Fucking whore. Do as I say or I will slit your Fucking throat. Do you understand"

She nodded. To scared to move or even speak. He pulled her up and made her pleasure him. She was about to give up when she heard her phone, she tried to grab it, but he was swifter, he kicked her phone away and stuck his knife into her ribs. She froze. She could hear her mum on the phone. When he kicked it, it must of answered, she thought. She screamed. All that came next was pain, followed by shouting and sirens.

*End of flashback*


	2. Chapter 2

Tears stained her face once again. She never forgot that night. She never forgot how she felt. Instead, she buried it with vodka and heroine. Two of the only things that made her forget. As temporary as the effects were, she craved the numbness.

She sat up on bed and looked out her window. She saw people holding hands and smiling. She wanted that more than anything in the world. She smiled imagining herself in their shoes. Stuck in a trance watching them talk and eat. Then someone caught her eye. He was sat alone at the cafe across the road. He was reading something on his phone. She watched intently as he sat sipping his drink, exchanging glances with his phone and the road beside the hostel.

"I wonder who he's waiting for" she sighed. "I bet she's beautiful"

Beca hopped off her bed and into the bathroom. She put on her shower playlist and turned the shower on, the warmth of the water soothing her. The only time she felt care free was in the shower. She sang her songs and embraced her voice. It was the only thing she liked about herself.

" This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I'm alright song, my power's turned on, starting right now I'll be strong..."

As she sung she felt her heart sing with her. Her shadow seemed to smile at her too.

Singing was one of her hidden talents. She never told anyone. She was worried if she sung for anyone she'd be vulnerable again and she didn't want that. Not right now anyway. Not when she couldn't let herself heal.

She turned off the water and let the excess drip off her hair. She wrapped herself in a towel and walked to her closet.

'I need new clothes' she thought to herself.

She picked up some black leggings and a long shirt dress. Then pulled on a pair of ankle socks and knock off military boots.

Once she was satisfied, she dried her hair and styled in into soft waves. She lined her lips in a deep red and put on her usual cateye eyeliner and Mascara. Picked up her handbag and left. Locking her door behind her.

Beca didn't have a lot of money anymore, any she did have, she spent quickly to avoid any temptation she may have later. So she shopped. Food store after food store, clothes store after clothes store. After two hours she had twelve bags dangling off her arms.

She was exhausted.

She sat in the corner of the food court nibbling on the boneless banquet she bought from KFC for her Dinner and day dreaming to herself...

\- "I want to thank you all for coming tonight, getting this AMA means a lot to me.I am so grateful for this opportunity and to all those that helped make it possible, to my mum and dad and to..."-

"Excuse me miss, are you finished with this table?"

Beca jolted slightly as she tried to get her bearings. Food court. She remembered.

"Oh erm yeah, I'm done, lemme just get my bags... Ermm... Yes sorry... If I could just get past... Yes... Thank you"

With that Beca wandered home. When she got to the Hostel she chucked all her stuff on her bed and turned on her tv. She put on the best sounding music channel and turned to her bags. Emptying the content of each on her bed.

"Chocolate, Chocolate, Bra, Undies, more chocolate, leggings, jeggings, a dress? Hmmm. More chocolate, crisps... Oh actual food and socks... Not too bad this time..."

Beca found a bit of joy seeing that for the first time there was nothing liquor based in her shopping. She smiled to herself. One small victory. She thought to herself. One step at a time.


	3. Chapter 3

Beca never understood clocks. Yes they told the time but they were irritating. Every hostel room had one nailed to a wall somewhere. She hated it. In any moments of calm all she heard was the clock. Tick, tick, tick. The harder she tried ignoring it, the louder it got. Especially when she was trying to sleep. TICK. TICK. TICK. Some nights it got so bad, she felt like she slept in the Big Ben in London.

"God damn stupid clock" she yelled. She chucked a boot at it in the hopes it might silence it. But to her, the clock seemed to get louder as if it was taunting her.

"For fuck sake. Stop with the bloody ticking. Let me sleep damn it. I fucking hate you." She muttered to the clock.

Tick Tick Tick

A chill went down her spine. The sound burned her ears.

She leaped out of bed grabbed her other boot and attacked the clock. In minutes the only remains were shards of smashed clock on the floor and the imprint the clock had made on her wall.

'Ahhh Silence' she thought.

She hoped back into bed, snuggling deep into her blankets and finally fell asleep.

' Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last,wake me up when September ends...'

Off went Beca's alarm. 9am sharp, just like every other Thursday. Today was therapy day. Or Therapy Thursday as Beca called it.

With a soft groan, Beca stretched out her body and opened her eyes, squinting as the day light hit her.

She looked out the window. Rain. She smiled.

For some reason rain made her bubble inside. The sound and feel of it gave her goosebumps. She didn't know what it was but something about the rain put her at ease. Maybe because she felt she related to the rain. She soaked in all her pain until it came out. Either causing destruction or well, she didn't know what the other side was. But she hoped she could be it. The beautiful side, the side that makes the prettiest rainbows and the biggest smiles.

She opened the curtain, hoped out the bed and put on her clothes. Checking the time as she left the room.

"Shit, 9:45, I'm going to be late"  
She ran down the hostel stairs, flung open the front door and ran to the bus shelter down the street.

The bus pulled up 5 minutes late. 'Why today' Beca remarked to no one in particular. She paid for her ticket and sat at the back.

She rolled down her sleeve and wiped the dust off the window. The bus moved forward lethargically. Every minute felt like ten. 'Why is the bus sooo slow?' She thought to herself. 

10am. She had half hour to get to her appointment or she'd be late. One more lateness could cost her dearly.

She had the hostel room conditionally. Attended every therapy session. 3 lates or misses and you're out. She didn't like the thought of the consequences so she always tried her best to keep on time. Unfortunately, buses were not in her favour and she had been late twice already. She sat longing the bus to go faster. With a slight jolt the bus sped up as if the bus driver himself has access to her thoughts.

The bus pulled up to the therapy building with 5 minutes to spare. She ran through the open door, climbed three flights of stairs and made it just as the therapist opened the door to call her in. Beca sighed with relief.

"Beca Mitchell, just in the knick of time I see... Please, come in."

Beca walked into the therapy office. She was always fascinated by its decor. Mahogany desk, swivel chair, plaque that read: 'Dr. R.S Gordon' as she read the plaque for what felt like the millionth time, her eye caught Dr Gordon tapping her foot pointing to the sofa across from her.

"Today please Beca. Sit"

Beca sat on the sofa, sinking in as it engulfed her.

"So Beca, last appointment you were telling me about your school and netball. I believe you were about to tell me about the night..."

Beca zoned out. She could still hear Dr Gordon. She wanted to know about the night Beca was sexually assaulted. Beca hated talking about it. It made her vulnerable. Every time the topic came up she went on auto pilot. Minimal answers but relevant. But today, Beca was forcing herself to relive it. She was hoping it'd kick in the new life she wanted. She was finally going to tell the full story.


	4. Chapter 4

"So Beca, last appointment you were telling me about your school and netball. I believe you were about to tell me about the night..."

"Yes, yes I was" Beca cut in.

"If you aren't ready to talk about it, we can leave it for now Beca."

"No no. I think I'm ready."

"In your own time then" Dr Gordon smiled reassuringly.

Beca took a deep breathe.

"I was 13. The top defender in my year for Netball. I was staying late at School getting ready for the next tournament. The changing room was flooded so they let us leave without changing back into our clothes. I was in my netball uniform. A skort, a top and a fleece. Knee high socks and a pair of pumps. Every girl in the team had to wear them. I rang my mum. I told her the situation and that I'd be home earlier..." Beca's hand dug into her leg as she tried to brace herself for the memories.  
"I was walking home, playing with my phone, there was a man behind me, but I didn't hear him, I was to interested in my phone. He asked the time and it made me jump. We got talking and he needed directions. I lived on the street he was looking for, so I offered to show him the way..."

She began to relay what happened that night. She felt her mouth move and words come out, but she didn't hear it. She saw it. In her mind she was no longer in the therapy room. She was watching her 13 year old self. Frozen to the floor. Tears pouring out her eyes. She couldn't stop it then and she couldnt now. She had to set herself free. The words flowed from her mouth. 

" After he stabbed me, I went numb, I couldn't move. I heared my mum screaming for me on the phone. Everything was going black. I saw flashes. I saw blue and red lights, I heard my mum crying and my dad comforting her. I heard the beeps of the life support machine and the paramedics telling eachother what to do. I saw the bright hospital lights, I saw nurses and doctors with pity in their eyes. Then nothing." Beca broke down completely. Her body falling off the sofa onto the floor. Tears pooling on the carpet beneath her.

"I think that's enough for today" Dr Gordon stated pulling Beca off the floor. And handing her a tissue. 

"We can resume next week, if you're able to. You did well today. This is a step in the right direction" she reassured.

Beca ran from the therapy room as if it were on fire. She felt lighter but broken all at once. She didn't stop running until she got to the Cafe across from the hostel. She sat down. Staring at her window. She felt some sort of calm like she did when she looked out at the rain earlier that day. She felt like the cloud above her head was getting smaller. She smiled. She deserved a treat. She went into the cafe and ordered a slice of double chocolate fudge cake and a decaf coffee. She plugged in her ear phones and listened to her music.

'You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug, you can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love or you can start speaking up...'

Freedom. That's what she felt. Not complete freedom. But freedom all the same.

She watched the door swing open and shut as people came in and out. Then he came in. She almost skipped a breathe. It was him. The guy she saw the day before from her window. He was even more breathe taking close up. Her body lit up. She felt as though she was a Christmas tree. He looked her way.

'Damn, can he hear my thoughts?' She wondered. He smiled at her and waved.

She froze not knowing what to do. When her body became her own again, her cheeks were the colour of cherries. 'Gosh Beca, it's just a boy!' Her subconscious yelled.

He walked towards her.

"Hi, I'm Matt" He smiled.  
"Beca..." She replied.  
"Hi Beca. Is this seat taken?"

She shook her head, which made Matt's smile wider. 'Gosh, his smile is amazing' she thought to herself.

He sat down. She looked him over. Drinking him in. He smelt of coconut. She liked that.

'Maybe today is a new start' She thought to herself.

She hoped she was right. She wanted this to be a new start. A better start. Maybe she'd have a friend in Matt. Maybe it'd become more. Who knew. All she wanted was to see where it went. She wanted someone to talk too when she couldn't sleep. Someone to confide it. Someone to have coffee with. Someone to make memories with. This was the beginning of her life and she would do whatever it took to keep herself from going back to darker times. Not again.


	5. Chapter 5

Beca couldn't sleep. All she could think of was Matt. She thought of his eyes and the way they lit up as he smiled. His dirty blonde hair and how soft it looked. But the one thing she couldn't forget was his lips. Soft and plump. She imagined all the girls who were probably lucky enough to touch them with their own. She thought of how wonderful it would be if she had the chance to kiss him. But most of all. She loved what came out of them.

Matt was smart, every word he spoke was as intelligent as the last. His voice was soft and kind. She felt as though she could listen to him forever.

At the Cafe they spoke for hours about everything and nothing. She learned that Matt had a dog called Bentley and that he was studying Nutritional Science near by. They spoke about their likes and dislikes. Beca told him about her day, and he told her about his. They laughed. It was perfect. When it was time to go they exchanged numbers.

Beca hadn't text him yet though. She wanted to wait until morning so she didn't seem too desperate or needy. But she was finding it hard to wait. To her Matt was a dream come true. He seemed to perfect to real.

'Why would someone like Matt, want to talk to me?' She thought to herself. 'He is perfect and I'm well, me... God don't let him be imaginary'

With that Beca fell asleep. A smile plastered on her face as she dreamt.

Morning couldn't come soon enough. The sun was out and Beca mimicked it. She felt warm and happy and her mood radiated the room. After a coffee she sat on her bed and got out her phone.

-

To: Matt :);

Heyy, Its Beca. From the cafe yesterday... I really enjoyed talking to you. I was wondering if you're free tonight and wanted to hang out?

-

After sending the text Beca couldn't sit still. She was so nervous. What if he didn't remember her? What if he didn't like her? To calm her down Beca decided to shower.

As she was in the shower she got to thinking of what they could do tonight I he said yes. Then it hit her. Karaoke. She wanted to do something she wouldn't usually do to prove she could take new steps.

After her shower she went to her phone.

-

Hey Beca, I remember you. That'd be great. What do you have in mind

-

Beca was estatic. Her whole body smiled.

-

Beca; I was thinking Karaoke? :)  
Matt; Hmmmm, sure, I don't sing though :p  
Beca; Awwwh Damn ;p So you'll come?  
Matt; Yesss, Meet at the cafe? Around 9?  
Beca; Okay, see you then ;p

-

9pm. That was 5 hours away. Beca panicked. She hadn't got an outfit or make up. Beca picked up her purse and left.

She hit the mall. She walked in to her favorite shop.

"Hi, I'm Claire, I'll be helping you today. Is there anything you are looking for?"

"Yes" Beca said, "Something dressy but casual"

"Right this way!" Claire exclaimed.

Beca liked Claire. She seemed bubbly and loud. Someone Beca could be friends with. She seemed weird and Beca liked weird.

"OMG, this would look amazing on you!" Claire stated.

Claire held up a denim dress with slits at the side.

"It's cute, but its inappropriate for a first date." Beca stated.

"Omg, a date? Details! Do not leave me hanging"

Claire was a tall girl. About 5ft 7. She had was a deep Mocha colour to her skin and dark curly hair. In many ways she was like Beca. A little nosey but in a good way.

"He is called Matt and we are going to. Karaoke night"

Claire looked excited.

" I have the perfect thing then."

Claire walked away and came back with a deep purple skater dress.

Becca loved it. She took it off Claire and tried it on.

It fit like a glove. The dress flowed to Beca's knees and sculpted her perfectly. It made her hazel eyes stand out. She twirled.

"It's perfect" Beca exclaimed. "Youre amazing"

"I am amazing" Claire reiterated with a smirk on her face.

Beca paid for her dress and went home to get ready.

She curled her hair and pinned the sides down. She put on small hopped earrings, skin coloured tights and her dress. She couldn't believe what she saw in the mirror and she wasn't done.

For the first time in years Beca felt beautiful. She didn't recognise herself. If it wasn't for her knowing her mirror was real shed of said there was another women behind the frame. She was gob smacked.

8pm. One hour left. She sat at her dressing table with her make up. She went for a sultry Smokey eye look and ruby red lips. When she was done. She was unrecognizable. She was a different women from the day before. Confident and radiant .

She put on her leather wet look jacket and black platform heels. Took a small handbag for her purse and Phone and left the Hostel.

8:50. Ten minutes left. She sat on the bench beside the cafe and waited for Matt's arrival.

Only 5 minutes went by before a taxi pulled up. Out stepped Matt. A white top with a black shirt and black skinny jeans. His look was simply but flattering. Beca found herself biting her lip.

"Excuse me miss, I'm looking for Beca, she hasn't been here has she?"

Matt said jokingly. "Beca, you look gorgeous"

Beca blushed. "You aren't too bad yourself" she smiled.

He took her hand and helped her into the taxi. In the back was a bunch of roses that when seated Matt gave to Beca.

"These are beautiful, Thank you" Beca stated.

"The pleasure is mine" Matt replied.

Beca told the driver where to go and they set off. For what Beca hoped would be the night of her life.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they pulled up they could hear the music playing and people singing. Beca was excited, she was out of her comfort zone but felt relaxed next to Matt.

Matt took Beca hand in his. She froze and looked at him. He smiled.

"You ready?" He asked. Beca nodded.  
"Yeah I am"

They walked in. Disco lights danced around the room and music shook the floor. Beca felt the adrenaline pulse through her.

They went to the bar and ordered drinks.

"What are you both having?" The bartender asked.

"I'll have a vodka and coke please" Matt replied.

"Just a coke please" Beca answered.  
Once they got their drinks they sat at the empty booth near the DJ. On the table was a book labeled 'Karaoke Bible'. Beca opened it. The book was filled with all genres of songs. Rock. Jazz. Classical. Modern. Beca's eyes lit up at the choice. She looked up and saw Matt watching her contently. She blushed. But in that moment she she knew what song she wanted to sing. She wrote the song down, the band and her name and awaited her turn.

While she was waiting her turn, they sat drinking and talking.

"Whats your favorite colour?" Matt asked.

"Purple" Beca replied.

Matt: "Favorite animal?"

Beca: "Definetly dogs"

Matt: "Me too. My favourite dogs are pugs."

Beca smiled. Matt was perfect in every sense of the word. She felt lucky. Lucky to have met him. Lucky that he wanted to spend time with her. Lucky that he was amazing.

And the next singer tonight, Beca Mitchell.

Beca took to the stage and tool the mic of the stand. She took a deep breathe and nodded to the DJ.

"I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise I know the signs are on and I feel this too None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you..."

As she sung she looked around the room at all the gawking faces. She couldn't tell if they were shocked it was good or was shocked at how terrible it was. She began to get nervous. She glanced at Matt. He was grinning with pride.

" What have I gotten into this time around I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to You had me at hello You had me at hello You had me at hello.."

As the song ended Beca stood glued to the spot, all eyes on her. Silence. She was so nervous. 'Shit, was I that bad' Beca thought. But before she there was an uproar of cheering and clapping. She looked over to Matt.

He mouthed 'You were amazing, you are so talented'. Her smile turned into a cherished grin that made her face numb.

She was ecstatic. What a great night she thought.

She jumped off stage and bounded to the booth, she embraced Matt and asked his thoughts.

"You were amazing. You have a beautiful voice. Plus I love A Day To Remember, they're a great band"

"Thank you" Beca Smiled. "Are you having a go?" Beca teased.

"Nooo" Matt replied. " I don't even sing in the shower"

Beca laughed. Matt smiled.

"Would you like a drink?" Matt asked.

"Hmm, no I'm fine, but maybe we could get some food instead?" Beca asked.

"Well, there's a five guys down the street if you want to try there?" Matt replied.

Beca agreed. They got their jackets and left the club.

It was cold out. Beca could see her breathe in the street lights. She clung onto Matt for warmth.

Matt looked down at her and smiled. He felt happy around Beca. She wasn't like anyone else. He liked her more. She was special.

As they got to Five Guys, Matt removed Beca from his arm and opened the door.

"After you" he smiled.

They went in and looked at the menu. They decided on a burger and fries each with a regular coke.

After the meal was cooked they sat at a table at the window and ate. Going through similar small talk to when they met. Then Matt has an idea.

"Do you want to see if there is a park close and we could sit on the swings and talk?"

Beca loved the idea. As they finished eating Matt googled the nearest park. Luckily there was one 15 minutes away.

Matt took Beca's hand and led her to the exit. She smiled. Their hands fit eachothers perfectly. Almost as if they were made for one another. Beca laughed internally. 'God, why am I feeling like this' she thought.

They strolled over to the park to find it empty. Not even a bird. They sat and the swings and began a deep conversation.

"How do you think the Universe began" Beca asked. Yes, it was cliche, but it was the first thing Beca thought of.

"Maybe we are just dreaming our lives" Matt replied.

"I hope not"

"Why not?" Matt asked puzzle.

"This will sound cheesy, but that's mean you aren't real. And I want you to be real." Beca replied. Matt smiled.

"I hope it's real, you're a special girl" Matt stated.

Beca blushed bright red. Lucky for her it was dark and Matt couldn't see.

"Thank you, you aren't to bad yourself" Beca replied jokingly.

"Hmm, I'll take that" Matt laughed.

Beca looked at her phone. "I better get back, they lock the front of the Hostel at 11"

Matt smiled sadly. "I'll call a taxi"

As they waited for the taxi there was a silence between them. A feeling of not wanting to go home yet lingered in the air. Beca was about to speak when the taxi pulled up but Matt beat her to it.

"I live close to here so I'm going to walk home. But, thank you for a wonderful night Beca Mitchell. I hope we have more to come. Get home safe cutie" Matt said. Beca felt the sadness in his voice. She hugged him.

"I'll message when I'm home. Have a good night" Beca said.

"Ill try" Matt replied.

Beca went to get into the taxi.

"Beca wait" Matt said, she looked up at Matt and he embraced her in a kiss. His lips were as soft as they looked but his kiss was full of passion. Beca never wanted to stop. The taxi driver honked.

"Jesus. I haven't got all night!" The taxi driver yelled.

They both apologized and Becca got into the taxi and it set off.

Beca got home at 10:56, she got to her room and collapsed on her bed smiling. She let Matt know she was home and going to bed.

For a while she sat and replied the night in her head before falling into a peaceful sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Mini Matt Chapter.

Matt was different to other men. You could tell the second you spoke to him. He was intelligent and kind. He always cared more about those around him then himself but he knew how to look after himself at the same time.

He was fond of Nutritional Science, in fact, he studied it at university. Outside of uni, he spent time with his Gran, his sister and his dog, Bentley.

Most nights Matt would stay up late and help his sister bake. Matt was great at cooking. He always made elaborate things. People always told him he should open up a restaurant one day. He would always smile and say "maybe".

When he wasn't with his sister or Gran and he wasn't cooking. He spent time with his cross breed, Bentley. Bentley was a beautiful black dog. He always looked like you could spend the rest of your life hugging him and Matt loved him.

One of Matt's other loves was pc gaming. His favorites were Left for Dead 2 and 7 Days to Die. He'd play them in between studying and waiting for his food to cook.

Matt was the type of man that most women dreamt of. He had his talents and his hobbies, but he was modest about them. He was the sort of guy that'd drop whatever he was doing just to talk to you. He had a past, just like everybody else, pain, heartbreak, happiness, joy and just like everyone else, the past is what built and shaped him into the man he became and he was proud of who he was.

He was different and Beca could feel that. The more they talked. The more Beca fell for him. And he felt the same for her. It was love and they both wanted to pursue it. Beca was perfect for Matt and Matt was perfect for Beca. They seemed to heal each other and they both needed that. They needed each other. They wanted each other. But, will they have each other?


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a few days since Beca and Matt's date but to Beca it was like it happened only moments ago. Her whole demeanor had changed. She smiled pretty much none stop. There was a bounce in step and a smile in her eyes. She woke up everyday feeling happier than the day before. They hadn't met up since, as Matt was busy with University but they text every spare moment they had. They arranged to meet again on Friday. Friday was going to be their sort of date night. This Friday was Matt's turn to plan the date which made Beca nervous. She didn't know what he had planned, or what sort of clothes she'd have to wear.

She panicked. 'I need to call Matt and ask him about this.' She thought. But before she pressed call her phone rang. It was Matt. She accepted the call.

"Hey you" Matt said.  
"Hey yourself" Beca replied.

Matt: "So I've been thinking..."  
"Yeah?" Beca interrupted

Matt: "Yesss, about Friday"

Beca's heart sunk. 'He's cancelling isn't he' she whispered to herself.

Matt: "I will pick you up at 7pm, dress classy, but no heels"  
Beca: "Okay, I think I'll need to go shopping for that lol. Aren't you going to tell me where we are going?"  
Matt: "Sorry cutie, that's a surprise"

They chuckled. After an hour of small talk and catching up the call ended. 10.30pm. Nearly time for bed.

Before bed she changed into her red fluffy pjs, brushed her hair and teeth, got.a glass of water and walked to her dresser. She picked up her calender and crossed off the date.

"Shit!" She huffed. "Fucking therapy Thursday tomorrow, just my luck.."

She climbed into bed and planned tomorrow.

Therapy at 10.30, come home, freshen up, hit the mall, go see Claire, buy a new outfit, grab food, come home, bath, coco and bed.

She smiled. Tomorrow was planned and she felt like it was going to be a good day. She was even going to get Claire's number so they could hang out.

Beca fell asleep thinking of the day ahead.

(THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FOR YOUNGER AUDIENCES)

-

Beca's dream, her view point.

I wanted him. I needed him. In every way possible. I wanted his lips against mine. I needed to feel his touch. I wanted him to caress my body. I wanted him to fuck me. To take me as hard as he could and as long as he could last.

I rang him.

"Hey Matt, it's me. Yes I know it's late. I'm sorry to wake you... Yes... Yes I know... I just need your help... What?... Oh... The kitchen sink needs fixing... It's leaking... Yes, I've tried that... No... Okay... Thank you... I'll see you soon... Bye"

The plan was set. Matt would be here in half an hour. I slip on some red lipstick and make my hair messy. But sexy messy. I slip on my special lingerie and my silk dressing gown. I still have ten minutes. Damn it. I sit on the end of my bed and wait.

"Hey Beca, it's me" Matt says knocking.

I tell him the doors open and sit provocatively on the edge of my bed.

"Im in my room" I shout. Matt walks in, he looks at me with a slight smirk.

"I've just checked your tap, it's fine... Was this a booty call?"

I bit my lip and stand up, as I do I "accidentally" drop my dressing gown. I look at Matt. His mouth was practically touching the floor. I look him over. I see his member thicken in his jeans.

I walk over to him, raising my hand to his chest as I reach him, pushing him against the wall, he went to speak but I silenced him by pressing my lips against his. His mouth was warm and taste of strawberries. I could feel his tounge dance around my mouth, his hands ran through my hair as we deepened the kiss. I could feel his member pressing against me as it got harder. I pull out of the kiss and bit my lip, watching as he licks his.

I run my hand down his chest until I reached the end of his t-shirt. In one quick move it was off. His upper body was toned. I could see his chest rise and fall. His body was a piece of art already and I haven't even seen it all. Yet. I kiss his neck, until he releases a soft moan in my ear, I lick the rim of my lips before leading a trail of kisses down his body. As I reached his belt, I stood up slowly, my hands never leaving his belt buckle. I look into his eyes and see them burning with passion. I kissed him again. This time as I finished the kiss I bit his lip as I pulled away undoing his belt buckle as I did. I slowly undid the rest of his trousers and trailed my hands down his body, lightly grazing his member. His whole body fencing in anticipation as I stroked it. Once again I trail kisses down his body, going as slow as possible to tease him. As I get go his underwear I put my teeth around the top and pull them down, his thick hard member bouncing out as his pants dropped. I looked up at him. Biting my lip and smirking. I tease him by licking the tip before slowly wrapping my mouth around his huge member, sucking as my mouth went up and down. I felt his hand tugging at my hair as he quietly moaned.

After a while he pulled me up and pushed me onto my bed, he kissed my neck, sucking on my sweet spot, my back arched. My whole body pulsating. He pinned my hands down with one of his as the other slid into my bra, he cupped my breasts, fondling each equally, my body responded, my nipples hardened and he released my hands. My heart felt as though it was about to jump out of my chest. His lips danced down my body, when he reached my pussy he stopped. Looked up at me and smirked. I bit my lip with temptation. He placed his head between my legs and I felt his tounge worshipping my pussy. I grabbed onto the bedsheets as I moaned.

'Oh god this is sooo good' i thought to myself. Matt chuckled. 'ooops, I must of said that out loud'

Matt pulled me close wrapping my legs around him. He asks if I want his member in me. It takes all my might not to beg for it. I nod as I bite my lip...

-  
RING RING. RING RING.

Beca woke up.

"God Damn it!" She yelled "Stupid fucking Alarm!"

End of dream

-


	9. Chapter 9

RING RING. RING RING.

Beca woke up.

"God Damn it!" She yelled "Stupid fucking Alarm!"

Beca was annoyed. She had been having the same dream since the night they kissed. Never once had she got to them having sex. However, this was the closest she got. She smiled slightly at the realisation.

Beca looked at her phone. Nothing.

'Thats really strange' Beca sighed. She always woke up to a message from Matt wishing her a nice day but today there was nothing. She pulled up her texts and clicked on Matt's name.

' Good Morning, I hope you're okay. Message me when you can ;* '

She looked at the time. 8.30. She got up and went to shower. As she showered she thought about the day ahead. She was excited. Today was going to be a good day. Everything was planned. She was even ready to ask to be referred off therapy. After she finished her shower she wrapped a towel around her and walked to her wardrobe.

She picked out a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a red dress top and put her hair in a side bun with a strand loose at the other side. She put on cat eyeliner and light red lips and a pair of block heel boots. 9.30. She smiled. She was on time. She picked up her handbag and jacket and grabbed her phone. Still nothing.

Beca left her room confused. Just as she got to the bus stop, the bus pulled up. She paid her fare and sat down.

She looked out the window at the sun peeking through the clouds and smiled. It looked so beautiful. Almost like a painting.

DING.

Beccas phone beeped. A text.

'Hey Cutie, I have a busy day today. I'll message when I can. Have a great day x'

She smirked. 'He didn't forget after all' she whispered.

Her stop. It was 10.15. She was early. She climed the stairs and knocked on her therapists door.

"Come in"

"Hi, Doctor Gordon, I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Of course Beca, you look so much better. How can I help you?"

"Thank you and I know this is kind of sudden but I was hoping you'd refer me off therapy. I think I've gone as far as therapy can take me, it's got me where I need to be and I need go it alone for a while."

"That is so great to hear, but, your accommodation is only given based on your attendance here. So if I referred you off, you'd have no place to go..."

Beca sighed.

"But, I can however change your appointment to once every month if you feel that is suitable, up until you have secured yourself a job and a new place?"

"Really!? That'd be awesome. Thank you so much Doctor Gordon"

Doctor Gordon smiled. "Is that all Miss Mitchell?"

Beca nodded.

"I will email you closer to the date for your next appointment"

"Thank you" Beca replied.

She left the office and went home. She had coffee and sat on her bed for a few minutes. She pulled out her phone and searched for some jobs. Nothing she could do.  
'Damn it' Beca internally yelled.

Her stomach rumbled. She checked her phone. 12... Dinner time. She decided to treat herself and go across to the cafe before hitting the mall.

She went over and sat at the table where she met Matt. She opened the menu and looked through it. There at the bottom was an advert. The cafe was hiring. Beca went up to the counter and asked for an application. Filled one out and ordered a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.

She sat down to eat. She began to day dream about all the possibilities if she got the job. She chucked to herself. It'd be amazing. Beca Mitchell. Independent women. Her own place and job. It was everything she wanted.


	10. Chapter 10

Beca finished eating. As she left she went to the counter, put in her application and tipped the waiter. She had a good feeling about the job. She hoped she got it.

She left the shop and turned the corner and stood outside the bus stop. She was headed to the mall in look for a new outfit. She was hoping she'd bump into Claire. She wanted her number.

The bus pulled up and she paid her fare. She found a seat and sat down pulling out her phone.

To Matt; 'Hey, hope you're having a good day. Miss you x'

It was one pm and Beca hadnt heard anhthing from him since this morning. She knew he was busy today but she was worried. Usually he would of said something by now.

The bus reached the Mall and Beca got off. She went into the shop Claire was and lo and behold there was Claire, giggling with another college.

"Hi Claire, I need some help again"

Claire smiled. "Beca! It's great to see you again!"

Claire grabbed Beca's arm and pulled her to the ladies section.  
"Tell me how it went! Was it fun? Did you kiss?" Claire questioned teasingly.

Beca divulged on the events of the dates and watched Claire's face as it changed through her story.

"Wow! Check you Beca. Kissing on the first date"

The girls chuckled, sharing funny stories about past dates.

"Anyway.." Beca interupted. "Matt and I are going out tomorrow. He said to dress classy but no heels... Any ideas?"

Claire glowed. "Stay there. I'll be right back"

Beca stood waiting for Claire and as she did she looked at her phone. 2:45pm and still nothing from Matt. She frowned. She was about to call him when Claire turned up.

In Claire's hands were a black dress that was knee length and had a deep v neck that would expose some of Beca's cleavage with black lace on the chest and down the arms to the elbows. With it she has a small white clutch bag and a pair of matte black flats with matte white tips. Beca smiled. Damn did Claire have style.

She took the outfit off Claire and tried it on. When Beca came out Claire's jaw dropped. Beca giggled. She looked in the mirror and her own jaw dropped. She looked breathtaking. The dress hung to her curves, the shoes, the accessories made her look even greater. She was blown away. She jumped with joy. She squeezed Claire tight.

"Oh Claire! You're like my fairy godmother" Beca squealed.

Claire blushed and thanked Beca for kind words.

"Can I have your number?" Beca asked Claire as she chucked her phone to her.

"Of course" Claire smiled. " I finish work soon, you want to hang out after I've done?"

" Yesss!" Beca said "Thatd be great!"

Beca changed back into her original clothes and paid for the new outfit. She sat outside the store and waited for Claire. Half three. Claire's shift ended and she came out. Damn Becca thought. Claire had black leather pants. Army boots and a white vest top and black jacket. She looked amazing. Claire hooked arms with Beca.

"Let's eat!" Claire said.

They walked to the food court and ordered from KFC. They sat down in the corner and Beca pulled out her phone. Still nothing from Matt.

"What's up Becs?" Claire questioned.  
" Matt. He hasn't text since this morning. I know he said he's busy but I'm worried"  
"Maybe you should call him?" Claire asked.

Beca agreed. She pulled out her phone to call Matt but in the corner of her eye she spotted something. Or someone.

Beca ducked. Claire looked around.  
"Beca what's wrong?"  
"It's Matt. Over there near the jewellers with that girl"

Claire looked shocked. She looked over to where Becca pointed. There was a guy who she presumed was Matt with a brunette. She was tall and slim. She looked attractive. Poor Beca Claire thought.

Beca dialed Matt. He picked up.

"Hey gorgeous, how are you?" Matt said.  
"Hi. Who's the girl?" Beca asked.  
"What?"  
"The girl next to you. Who is it? Are you serious?"  
"Beca, listen, you're over thinking. It's not what you think. Please listen to me.."


End file.
